In Search of Beauty

I am not (yet) as well traveled as I would like to be, but someday I will. All the while I am collecting ideas, moments, thoughts, bits of beauty here and there because someday it will all be good for something. Some grander ideas that perhaps someday I’ll rifle through and go “Hmm, let’s give this a try…” (and of course by then I will have boat loads of money so all my little creative entrepreneur endeavors can be easy peasy)

Currently I am visiting friends in Vancouver, B.C. and while I know the city can be inspiring to some, it hasn’t sparked any inspiration for me. I am disappointed because I was so looking forward to visiting shops I had followed on Instagram for some time and in all honesty, my expectations far exceeded the reality.

Maybe the problem is social media has made us believe in the hype of beauty so much that when we actually experience a place in real life, we’re just setting ourselves up to be disappointed. Maybe I have seen these places too often through a VSCO filtered i-phone photo with the perfect accompanying hashtags that when I am standing there in person, the entire place just falls flat because my eyeballs don’t have filters and I can’t hide a messy corner or a person wearing a bright neon parka just out of frame.

But then I think…NO. I have been in places where I will try and try to capture the ESSENCE of the place in a photo, and there is just no way any technical device could capture that moment. That ephemeral beauty. So many times while we were visiting France I thought, “Oh my GOD, this corner, THIS CORNER needs to be shared with the world… with this antique chair and these wildflowers, and the window here and the way light looks…” and my photos just fall flat of the real time┬ábeauty of the space.

I mean, I could just be a really shit photographer. I never claimed to be a good photographer, but I have a definite idea of what is beautiful (in my own definition) and I know how to frame a good photo.

I worry sometimes if I ever open up a shop, that it will always fall short of someone’s expectations. OK, actually, that is a bit of a lie. Because the most important expectation I don’t want to fall short of is the expectations I have for myself. And I place that bar really, really up there.

Perhaps I am afraid I will never achieve that idealized beauty I have built up in my mind of what my dream shop should be…therefore I won’t do it, because reality will never meet my fantasy.

I went to a shop here in Vancouver and this was a trendy place. One of those cool shops I found out about on Instagram. And I get there and I’m like “What the heck?! Do people actually BUY this stuff?! These ill fitting clothes in these God awful colors with this ridiculous price tag?

But you know, I’m sure someone could look at vintage clothes and go “AUGH someone actually would pay $200 for some ratty old dress with stains?!

I get it, to each their own. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz… and again I am aware my idea of beauty is not everyone’s cup of tea…but jeez louise, I just wish my idea of beauty was what was normal and popular. It WAS at one point. 100 years ago!

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